Here are the seven kinds she has identified (abbreviated):
1. New-situation loneliness
Moving to a new city where you don’t know anyone, or starting a new school or a new job where all the faces are unfamiliar.
2. I’m-different loneliness
Your values or pleasures or, most fundamentally, your self-identity don't jibe with those of the people around you. Or maybe you’re just hit with the loneliness that hits all of us sometimes—the loneliness that’s part of the human condition.
3. No-sweetheart loneliness
You have lots of friends and close family but no romantic partner, no one to share intimacy with. Or you do, but you don't feel a deep connection to that person.
4. No-animal loneliness
Gretchen describes this such that the animal connection somehow "replaces" the need for human connection, but I see the comfort of animals more generally: they provide an additional living spark to our lives, and sometimes you just want to hug your dog/cat/whatever.
5. No-time-for-me loneliness
6. Untrustworthy-friends loneliness
"An important element of friendship is the ability to confide and trust
. . . if that’s missing, you may feel lonely, even if you have fun with your friends." I might call those superficial, not untrustworthy, friends. But I get it.
7. Quiet-presence loneliness
"Sometimes, you may feel lonely because you miss having someone else’s quiet presence. You may have an active social circle at work, or have plenty of friends and family, but you miss having someone to hang out with at home — whether that would mean living with a roommate, a family member, or a sweetheart. Just someone who’s fixing a cup of coffee in the next room, or reading on the sofa."
The last one resonated with me. Today, for example, I persuaded David to work from home for that very reason: as I finish ticking things off my packing list, I didn’t want to be alone. It is comforting to have him and his sounds in the other room, even if we’re not interacting much. I don't think I'd exactly feel lonely if he weren't here, but it's nice to have him here.
I will be with a group these next two weeks, so I will need to practice being social. It'll be fun, I'm sure, but I am an introvert: I don't derive energy from other people. So I will need my alone time. What is the term for not getting to be alone—is that the opposite of lonely?