365 True Things: 325/Bonding

This evening I took Chinese over to Grant's place, since he's been down and out with a bad back and I figured we were overdue for dinner together. We sat in the kitchen talking and eating, while Jeopardy, then Wheel of Fortune played on the big TV. I find it difficult to wrest my attention from a TV. I got a few of the answers right on both shows. But mostly, we managed to catch up.

My friend Annie and her husband, Digger, have a little ritual of watching Jeopardy together. I imagine them yelling their answers (i.e., questions) at the screen and being delighted—high-fiving? fist bumping?—when they get them right. But maybe they just screech in victory.

My friend Wendy and her husband, Kevin, play some backgammon before bed. For money (a buck or a quarter, I forget). Wendy wins more often than not and is growing quite wealthy.

My friend Kathi and her partner, Bob, like to cozy up on their bed and watch movies: that's how they wind down from a busy day and enjoy some together time.

My sister- and brother-in-law Patty and Wayne go for an early-morning walk with their dog, Greta. Daily. It's a routine for all three of them.

I love these little bonding rituals that people have. Something they count on to bring them together.

David and I don't have any real rituals. The one thing we do more or less regularly is go for an afternoon walk with Milo. It's an expectation, and a treat, if one or the other of us isn't otherwise occupied. The longer the walk, the better. (And it's becoming easier as the days grow longer.)

David caputuring an Ingress portal;
Milo lolling his tongue:
"Great hike, Mom!"

Tied in with a walk is, very often, some geocaching or Ingressing. It helps give us a goal. It's fun. We both enjoy the puzzle and the hunt. I consider geocaching, especially, a bonding activity.

We also very often spend part of the evening watching a movie or TV series via Netflix or Amazon Prime. It's a nice way to kick back and unwind together. Milo likes it too.

Grant stylin' in his 80s tights

There are also things that we enjoy doing together but that I've never wanted to call "our" activity. Like rock climbing: when I was doing it (which I don't seem to be anymore), I enjoyed going out with friends—along with, sometimes, David, but also, sometimes, not David. For some reason (that I should probably examine), I didn't want to think of it as a bonding activity, but rather as something we did together now and then, either on our own or with others. And had a good time every time.

By the same token, David enjoys contra dancing—and I don't. I'm glad that he goes and comes home rejuvenated, and although he says he'd like it if I came (I tried once: it was not a success), I'm just not eager. It will never be one of those bonding activities for us, I'm afraid. Though yeah, I may give it another try. It wouldn't hurt me. Can an old dog learn new tricks?

I keep trying to institute a "ritual" of going out for Friday breakfast to do some household planning, but that's never found traction. Maybe it'll happen when David retires. Or not.

Maybe, though, when David retires we will enjoy discovering, or implementing, all sorts of other new rituals. I kind of like that idea, actually. I think rituals are important. I could use a few more. (But contra dance? Probably not.)