Hedge parsley (41)

I went out today with fellow wilderness rangers Lynn and Lynne to do some trail work in the Silver Peak Wilderness. We had a full day cutting trees—thirteen in all, and all of them oaks of one sort or another. Mostly tan oaks (Notholithocarpus densiflorus). Here we are sorting out our first project:

But what I want to talk about here is hedge parsley (Torilis arvensis). It's got a rather lovely, teeny tiny flower

but you see those seeds on the left? They are nasty. Their minuscule barbules will attach to anything and everything—your socks, for sure; your underwear, guaranteed; your cat even, if you're not careful. They are tiny, but fierce. They came up today in our trail conversation because each of us had had an early-morning altercation with them—simply getting dressed!

Spend enough time in the Ventana and Silver Peak Wildernesses, and you become distressingly intimate with hedge parsley.

Here's a closer view of the seeds:

So as we shared our stories—mine involved three tiny seeds clinging to my fleece sweater (and I haven't been in the Ventana or Silver Peak in ages, so where did they come from today?), Lynn's involved a single one, but, yes, in her underwear!—I wondered if there might be any electron scanning micrographs that would explain their ferocious tenacity. Well, indeed.

I'm not sure how much this picture actually explains, but it's pretty cool. It won an award in 2013 in a contest featuring FEI instrument owners (I can only assume the FEI instruments in question are scanning electron microscopes). The caption that accompanies the photo says, "The plants grow up to 3 feet in height with tiny flowers clustered in small flat-topped umbels. The fruit of the plant, also known as the schizocarp, is covered with Velcro-like appendages that attach to clothing and fur, allowing them to hitch a ride to new terrain."

Schizocarps, in case you were wondering, are "fruits in which each carpel of a compound ovary splits apart to form two or more parts, each with a single seed. Schizocarps are found in the carrot family (Apiaceae)." And yes, hedge parsley is in the carrot (or parsley) family (also called Umbelliferae), which contains 434 genera and some 3,700 species.

The UC Davis Weed Report is more direct about its annoying qualities: "Hedgeparsley has bristly fruiting structures that can be a nuisance to livestock, pets, and humans. The burs stick to the fur and hair of animals and can cause mechanical injury by lodging in the nose, eyes, and ears of pets and livestock." Did you notice the word weed there? This plant is from central and southern Europe (where I expect it's no more welcome). How it got here, who knows. But here it is. And nobody, but nobody, likes it.