31. Sigh

Today the Senate passed the "Big Beautiful Bill"—what a stupid name for something so tawdry coming out of our formerly stolid government. It's gotten me thinking, wondering, about, oh, time. Life. A quick study of history will tell you that upset is more common than peace in human history. Why is that? Why does humankind seem to thrive so on chaos? But it does. Obviously. Our time, right now, is another testament to that. 

I was born in the fifties, and came up during the civil rights movement, the Vietnam war. But I wasn't very aware of all that: I was just going to school, getting good grades. My parents didn't talk about those events. Now, I would love to be able to sit down with them and ask them what they were thinking. How it impacted them. 

My parents were born in 1908 and 1914, respectively, so they lived through WWI, the Depression, WWII. They never talked about all that. Of course, as children, WWI didn't really affect them. During the Depression, my father had found employment with Chevron as a chemical engineer, so he was okay. And then he was hired in the chemistry department at UCLA, arriving in 1939. During WWII he spent some time in Philadelphia on a research project, and was involved in a laboratory explosion that compromised his liver; he ended up in and out of hospital for ten years. 

So yes, my parents encountered more than a little bit of history's ins and outs. I really wish I could talk to them about what they experienced, what they thought.

My father ended his life on the Republican side of the spectrum; my mother remained a stolid FDR Democrat her entire life. I'd love to be able to talk to them about that too: what they believed was right, was necessary. In real terms. From both their perspectives.

I know a lot of people think this BBB is a good thing, though I don't know why. Everything about it is abstract: the people who will be losing health coverage, the billionaires who will be getting even more money, the children who will die from malnutrition. But somehow, people think it will improve their lives? Because, what, of a momentary tax break? 

I find the Republicans in Congress reprehensible. Maybe the Democrats aren't so great themselves—politics is a game, for sure—but at least they voted against this monstrous bill. 

At this point, I have no faith whatsoever in my "government." It is as corrupt as can be. 

I am looking at my life now, how it plays out. I have money enough to survive, even once David and his pension vanish. If we old folks lose Medicare (which I don't find implausible), I may try to seek refuge elsewhere—a medical immigrant.  

A good 344 million people are caught in this travesty. I am not alone in my outrage. Even those who voted for Trump may well feel it soon.

In the meantime, I'll continue to seek out the beauty in life. I do have that. Plenty of beauty. Maybe it will keep me healthy a little while longer.