Today, When I Could Do Nothing
Today, when I could do nothing,I saved an ant.
It must have come in with the morning paper,
still being delivered
to those who shelter in place.
A morning paper is still an essential service.
I am not an essential service.
I have coffee and books,
time,
a garden,
silence enough to fill cisterns.
It must have first walked
the morning paper, as if loosened ink
taking the shape of an ant.
Then across the laptop computer—warm—
then onto the back of a cushion.
Small black ant, alone,
crossing a navy cushion,
moving steadily because that is what it could do.
Set outside in the sun,
it could not have found again its nest.
What then did I save?
It did not move as if it was frightened,
even while walking my hand,
which moved it through swiftness and air.
Ant, alone, without companions,
whose ant-heart I could not fathom—
how is your life, I wanted to ask.
I lifted it, took it outside.
This first day when I could do nothing,
contribute nothing
beyond staying distant from my own kind,
I did this.
And just as I was wrapping this post up, I saw that a FB friend, Tod Goldberg, has received an award for an essay he recently wrote about sheltering-in-place, "The Outside In." I love being surrounded by creative people who can express the extreme strangeness of what we're all going through now, at least in their own terms, if not necessarily in a universal way—because, is that even possible? I don't know. Is it?
Oh no, before I sign off, here's a (public) FB post by another writer, Valerie Boyd, which also fits the distancing-together theme here: "Porch portrait during The Great Pause of 2020: Big thanks to my neighbor . . . for photographing me on my front stoop, from a safe distance. . . . I am privileging joy—seeking and finding beauty, comfort and solace in the smallest of things: a satisfying FaceTime conversation with a friend; my late mother’s simple cornbread recipe; a stump planter of rosemary and cilantro; a dollop of sour cream in the middle of the pancake batter; a bottle of cold-pressed juice that boasts the perfect balance of lemon and watermelon juice; a successfully executed cardamom-lime loaf; a bright idea."
These homely details are what we all need to savor right now. And, perhaps, forever and always.
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Today's stats for Monterey County: infections up 9 to 288; deaths (knock wood) still at 6.
Remain distant from your own kind—but stay connected. And be healthy.
1 comment:
Tod's essay, whoa. Jane's essay, whoa. Porch portraits, awesome! Thanks for writing. I enjoy reading your words.
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